Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Many years have passed since inception of a blog/newsletter of me and paralyzed life.  11!
To catch you up, I broke my neck in a diving accident resulting in paralysis and tried to keep people updated via Schlueterpost on my recovery.

At some point, a few years in, I had dead ended myself in every aspect of life ending in -ly and took down all the writing.  I felt like I was peddling smoke and wore out by the character (I imagined) I needed to portray to make people happy and inspired. 

Inside I was really sad and hopeless.  It really, really sucks losing a fully functioning, God given body.  An entire blog of Sadness could be written from the laments of daily living to this very day.  As I write and look out the window, there is a stab of sadness that I can't go for a sunset walk down at the beach. 

But the way I process it is different.  Off the bat, I'm thankful that I ever had the chance to walk the beach.  I know what the rocks sound like and if I really, really had a passion for it, could fashion a way to do it on wheels.  I can't go for a sunset walk, but I can be outside and push down the sidewalk, loosen my shoulders and take in the evening air.  Sometimes I can even just sit and sense that I'm alive.  This is all very hard to admit on a bad day!


So without any readers, I commence on a short journey to write a few posts.  If I sound like a jackass, congrats good intuition.  Though it pains me, I'm going to go ahead and do a spotlight review going back to the beginning of this accident.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Hi, thanks for reading this.

Hard for me to believe that it's been over 10 years that I broke my neck.  My intention for writing again is to unload my mind and hopefully contribute some fresh air to the polluted internet.  I've had a lot of time to think about life and it'll take a while to unpack.

Daily living in the physical pain is a gigantic pain in the ass when confined in a wheelchair.  Superlatives and plastered smiles aside, lets call disability what it is...can we agree on "less than ideal"?

But it sure keeps you humble.  Under the glossy hood of cover magazine standards is a world of hurting humans.  I can only speak for myself and I'd be a fool if I didn't footnote and underscore that - 


I have been very blessed in this life.

It's pretty easy to want to try and catalogue the strife I go through every day and night.  But why bother when all around me are people dealing with pain on many levels.  I am a blessed human being, meaning: I did relatively nothing to deserve my life, family, friends, health, my country or the space I occupy in it.  

I say that as a disclaimer so that I don't gloat over those less fortunate.  It's easy to forget sometimes.  There's always another perspective.  I'll leave it there and score the victory of a first post in a long time.